Friday, November 26, 2010

I cannot tell you how many times in the past 2 days that we have thought Lucia was going to call it quits for life on earth....I think that's the nicest way I could possibly put that -- there is nothing nice about it though.  These past 2 days have been draining in every way.  Once we left the hospital, we thought she was being herself, but that night/early morning, it seemed that she took a turn for the worst.  Her oxygen levels dropped dramatically (and honestly, I think this has done some serious damage to her brain), she stopped crying altogether (for you parents out there that may think crying is torture, please do me a favour and thank God every time your child cries..it is SUCH a blessing), her heart rate sky-rocketed to the 190-210's  (unusually high -- and probably prevented her from sleeping) and she spiked a fever that seemed to be stubborn and unaided by tylenol.  These symptoms continued for over 24 hours straight.  As of right now (very early Saturday morning), we are giving her oxygen through a machine which is keeping her levels up, her heart rate is in the 180's (still too high), she has given us a few very weak cries (they sound like tiny protests and are absolute music to my ears), and she still has a fever, but not as high as before.  She has not slept a good few hours since Wednesday (neither napping or night-time sleeping).  As the one that knows her best, I just feel like she's not the Lucia I know.  Lulu is typically alot more interactive - she hears my voice and looks in my direction, she makes alot more noise than she is currently making, she responds to sounds, she is able to track things with her eyes.  Maybe it's because she is sick, but I feel like she has lost some of these abilities..and it breaks my heart to pieces.  Though there has been very slight improvement today, we still feel that we are playing a waiting game.  When is "it" going to happen?

It really may not happen this time.  Part of me is convinced that she really wants to live and is cleaving on.  Maybe she will get through this.  At this point, I truly do not know what would better for her (and selfishly for us) - leaving this world or staying.  I write with deep tears, and I ask for your most fervent prayers for the Lord's mercy.  Thank you with all my heart.

18 comments:

  1. Oh my Dear Kh. Ramia, how very hard and difficult this is. A good friend of mine and myself prayed last night the supplicatory service to the Mother of God and some smaller prayers to St. Nectarios, St. Sabbas the Sanctified, St. John of Shanghai and San Francisco the Wonderworker, St. Menas and esp. also to St. Nicholas. Your dear Lucia is one of those we have in our hearts as we prayed these prayers. My love, continued prayers and some (((hugs))).

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  2. I came from elizabeth's blog. I wanted to let you know that a few days ago I added you all and Lucia especially to my prayer list. I pray for comfort and peace for all of you.

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  3. We will continue to pray for Lucia and for her loved ones. May God continue to give you strength and peace during this difficult time.

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  4. Lord have mercy. We are praying for you all.

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  5. My dear Khouria, these are all normal feelings. You, Father & sweet Lulu continue to be in our prayers!

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  6. This is a prayer I found in my little red Orthodox prayer book....

    O God, our heavenly Father, who lovest mankind, and art most merciful and compassionate, have mercy upon thy servants Lucia, Ramia, and Father Anthony for whom I humbly pray thee, and commend to thy gracious care and protection. Be their endeavors, lead them in the path of thy truth, and draw them nearer to thee, that they may lead a godly and righteous life in thy love and fear; doing thy will in all things. Give them grace that they may be temperate, industrious, diligent, devout and charitable. Defend them against the assaults of the enemy, and grant them wisdom and strength to resist all temptation and corruption of this life; and direct them in the way of salvation, through the merits of thy Son, our Saviour Jesus Christ, and the intercessions of his Holy Mother and blesses saints. Amen.

    Love you guys. Know that y'all are in our hearts all the time. We will keep praying. Lord have mercy.

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  7. Dear Kh. Ramia, we are praying for you all...

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  8. Rams, alex and i are here praying for you and Lulu, and Father, as we read your blog...
    We are sharing in your sufferings, and feel your pain... God is merciful, He is with you!!!
    love, helen & alex

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  9. May God give you strength.
    Much love and prayers
    Gayle and gang

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  10. I prayed for Lucia in church this evening. May the Lord have mercy...

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  12. Sending so much love and prayers and dwelling in believe for miracles for Lucia. Please GOD, Thank YOU God for Lucia. ~ Michelle & Dave Anderson

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  13. Ramia,

    I pray for you and Lucia everyday. You have both touched me in so many ways. One of the prayers I prayed daily during my daughter's hospital stay of 4 months, and still now 10 months later, is the prayer of St. Jude, worker of miracles, that my sister introduced to me. I pray that for you, Father Anthony and Lulu everyday. May God heal Lucia and comfort her through this trying time.

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  14. Ramia,

    I REALLY hope that everything is going to be okay. I read this blog and bawled my eyes out. I really don't know what to say. I think of you all constantly and am checking this frequently for updates!!! Stay strong, I'm praying for Lulu!!

    Rahme
    xo

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  15. Vasiliki posted a link on FaceBook. Thank goodness. Now I can read about Lucia and be reminded to pray.
    My love goes out to you and your families.

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  16. Since her birth Lucia has been in our prayers. May God continue to bless and be with you all. Our love, Fr. Joe and Leslee Abud

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  17. With December here, I ask St Lucia for her intercession. May you remain in the Light of Christ, and may He show you His Mercy in all of your coming and going.
    Thank you again for sharing Lucia's life with me. I am honored time and again to have you and her in my memory. She is such a blessing to me.
    I will be asking my prayer warriors to pray for her as well.

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