This past season of Lent brought many joys, and naturally sorrows too. We celebrated many firsts...especially because we just moved into our new (and honestly, magnificent) church building...thanks be to God. Palm Sunday was our first Sunday in the church, and while the parish bustled in a spirit of celebration, and the very cute children paraded in their best outfits with their beautifully decorated candles, part of me lamented that I could only light a candle for my children. Please let me clarify that I don't envy anyone that has their children with them, I'm just sad that I didn't have my baby to hold.
Sorrow and joy seem to co-exist always in the Christian life, a very kind friend recently reminded me. You almost can't have one unless you experience the other...or as the ancient adage goes, there is no Resurrection (Joy) without the Crucifixion (Sorrow), so allow me to share something joyful with you.....
In spite of the sadness, there was and is a still small sweet voice that speaks to me in the quietest and most special of moments, reassuring me, "But I'm alive mama." Call it insanity, my imagination, or perhaps the work of the Holy Spirit (obviously, I will take option #3... but I don't want to be presumptuous) but to me, that is Lucia's voice, and hearing it is one of the things that gives me the most peace and joy.
I know she is alive, and when we sing "Christ is Risen from the dead, trampling down death by death, and upon those in the tombs, bestowing LIFE," the Lord offers me a joyous song. It's a song of total victory..the Lord is saying, "I have conquered death....I AM RISEN, I AM ALIVE! AND SO IS LUCIA!" These words have power to me, like they never have before. They mean something concrete that I previously could never truly grasp.
In other news, I think my babies try to communicate with me through their fingers. In our ultrasounds with Lucia, she frequently had her index finger pointing upwards. Somehow, I think that foreshadowed her life...that she pointed upwards to the glory of God. She was even born with her index finger pointing up! Lucia's little brother or sister (still not sure), gave us a thumbs up throughout our entire last ultrasound a few weeks ago! I took this very sweet gesture to mean, "It's gonna be OK mom and dad." :)
Christ is Risen!!! Indeed He is Risen!!!
See that cutie little finger.
